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long island dating tips
Ladies and Gentlemen,

Ok …
you've signed up for a singles event or your very first Speed Dating event.
But you’re not quite sure what to say or expect at your first event ?

First make sure that you read our FAQ page thoroughly. Then, let us help you with some tips for all you new speed daters and singles event goers. Reading our dating tips will make your first speed dating or singles event experience more relaxing and help you put your best foot forward.

Best advice I can offer you is don’t make any one speed dating or singles activity a litmus test or do-or-die mission. Simply look at the events you attend, as an opportunity to meet lots of interesting people and make new single friends. I'm sure at some point you’ll find yourself really enjoying the evening for its own sake...going out for the night and having FUN!
When a few dates come out of it, they will only be a wonderful bonus. 

Visit our Testimonial page, read all the wonderful inspiring success stories and thank you notes.

At the bottom of this page there is a collection of Links to Articles for advice on dating.
Visit our ADVICE-BLOG with over 60 fun and interesting real life dating articles.
We also have a monthly group DATING WORKSHOP with a new interesting topic each month.  

Good luck and scroll down to get this party started! 

Wishing you joy on your journey,


SPEED-DATE but LIVE in the Moment

Decide what your goals are

Even though attending a speed-dating event is about meeting new people, everyone has their own idea about what that means to them. What are your goals for the evening?

Do you just aim to just get circulating again? Are you looking for something light like occasional dates or something serious and long term? Would you be open to a friendship centered around a common interest, like a sport or hobby? How far are you willing to travel for a relationship?

Thinking about this beforehand can help inspire topics of conversations and questions. And ultimately, it may help you to select your matches; those with whom you'd like to follow-up with.
Dress for success!

The evening is designed to be fun and relaxed, but your first impression will inevitably be how you look. And you only have one chance to make a first impression. Casual but always neat, clean clothing. No Jeans suggested.

Guys...Shirt, Tie and Jacket not necessary; but if you feel comfortable dressed up it won't hurt! Same for the Ladies... dresses and skirts are attractive and feminine if you feel comfortable wearing one do it! But a favorite pair of black slacks and a nice blouse and nice heels works too. Sexy but not overly seductive is best.

Unique, interesting jewelry or accessories can be a great conversation starter too!

Interesting information about COLORS...

According to the scientists, most attractive and stimulating color for a woman to wear is RED, which actually increases blood flow. (And mimics attraction.) AND according to those studies ... women are attracted to men wearing the color BLUE. And why wouldn't we be ? Guys who frequently wear blue are "stable, faithful and always there." The "blue guy" is a fabulous candidate for a long-term relationship --- someone who's dependable, monogamous and can match his own clothes. 

(Now this is a plus ladies!)

Do be positive

Go to the event with an open mind and be positive--keep your mind open. It's pretty exciting to attend a speed-dating event. Everyone at the event is focusing all his or her energy, meeting a special someone. You're all pulling in the same direction! What could be more positive than that? If you have read the book "The Secret" you know the main message in the book is "positive thinking" brings to you positive results. "Negative thinking" brings to you negative results and negative life experiences. 

Is your glass 1/2 full or 1/2 empty? 

Try to be patient

Expect the first few rounds of mini-dates to be a little awkward. This is a new experience for most participants. Have patience with yourself and those with whom you're paired.
Be accepting of chemistry

Keep your mind open. Compared to meeting people over the internet, one of the real advantages speed dating and single events offers is the ability to meet live and in person. Sometimes real instant chemistry does happen. So, if it happens to you, don't be blind-sided. Recognize it, welcome it and flirt a little...(Then dig a little deeper to see what else there is). But do keep your expectations realistic. Try not to run too far ahead of yourself. Maybe one thing to remember is to end with a smile. After all...isn’t love and affection a process of chemistry as well?
Focus on the opportunity 

As you begin each round of mini-dates, remember to stay focused. Don't dwell on how things went in the last dating round or whom you'll pair with next. You can't change the past; and it's best not to live too far into the future. You can only impact the present moment. Give the person opposite you your full attention. You each only have a few moments together. Make the most of it! Learning to listen and be interested in the other person in front of you is vital if you’re to have a strong connection. Save any effort to "catch up or regroup" with friends after the event is over. 
Give yourselves credit

You've arrived at the speed-dating or singles event. As you look around the room you begin to wonder if you have anything in common with your fellow daters. Take a deep breath and find comfort in the knowledge that your goals, are very much like everyone else that has attended for the event. By your very presence at this event, each of you is doing something positive about your desire to expand your social contacts, meet new friends and open yourself to new possibilities.

TIPS for Icebreakers at the Table

Do remember to flash a wide smile

It's true...a smile is so universal that it can communicate even when words cannot. A smile can open doors, it allows the other person to know you like them, and your smile makes you more approachable to anyone. It's natural and common for participants to be a little nervous especially at any social single event. Science has proven that when you smile as well as when you laugh that it releases endorphins and makes you feel better. So, even if you and the person you're meeting are nervous, those nerves will calm down at least a notch or two once you smile. When you smile, it also can light up your eyes and face...a plus that will make you attractive to almost anyone!
Use charm & engaging personality

Personality does count! Use confident  positive energy and discussions to engage another. You can turn that to your advantage every time. Imagine how surprised and delighted people will be when your fun personality emerges and you're not as conservative or plain as you look. Always try to do something or say something so "engaging" that it immediately breaks the ice. Remember to make good eye contact. Being animated and changing the tone and pace of your speech can also help to make a point or to keep your listener's interest.
Do ask open-ended questions and share something about yourself to establish some common ground.

What kind of questions will people ask me?

What will I talk about at a SPEED DATING event?

Yes...seven minutes is not a lot of time so try your best to use it effectively.
Most people will ask of you the usual questions like:
What town do you live in?
What do you do for work?
Do you have children and how many?
How long have you been single?

Although the above questions are valuable questions, it is best to keep this brief  7 minute meeting FUN and less like an "interview" for a job position. There will be plenty of time to find out the basics about someone later. And you only get one chance to make a first impression. Fun positive and confident is attractive. Always try to make proper introductions; Hi, nice to meet you "Jane" (everyone wears a name tag so this makes it simple!) and saying their name out loud will help you remember that person too. 

Try to thinking outside-the-box with your questions.
Here are some fun and creative questions you might ask to break the ice:
Is this your first Speed Dating event?
Do you Travel much? Where have you been?
Any cool vacation stories to tell?
Do you have any hidden or secret talents?
Heard any good jokes lately?
Do you have a favorite saying?
What's your favorite outdoor activity?
What's your favorite indoor activity?
Do you ever talk to yourself out loud? What do you talk about?
Tell me your favorite guilty pleasure to eat? Favorite food?
If you could have any car you wanted... what car would it be?
What’s your favorite childhood memory?
If you won the lottery, how would you spend it?

Suggestions about questions, subjects to avoid
Avoid swearing and controversial topics. (EX: Religion / Politics) 
Do not tell lies or exaggerate stay honest
Stay away from racy jokes or questions that could be sexual in nature
Don't tell too much very personal information about your yourself;
(EX: how terrible you were treated in your last relationship, or your personal finances.)
Remember to keep it simple:
Fun, positive and confident is attractive.

Use flattery it does work wonders

Let's face it, flattery is hard to resist - especially when it's sincere or novel. A word of caution here is to be careful not to use too much of a good thing. If your flattery goes the route of "over the top," it'll probably will result in creating a major turn-off instead of a turn-on. Look for a single thing that stands out to make your compliment. Each person is unique. Maybe it’s the cute side smirk they have, or the way they giggle, their great voice or those gorgeous blue eyes. Maybe they are a sharp dresser- compliment her blouse or the cool shirt he is wearing. Another approach might be to share with them a well known personality or celebrity of whom they remind you of.

Whatever compliment you choose just be sincere- that will always shine through.


It's your choice, but meeting so many people with so little time it is a good idea to takes some notes.

You will be provided with a separate piece of paper at the event to do this. Try to make brief notes so you can remember the person you met with. You don't need to write a paragraph. Write something about their appearance, personality, occupation or something that was very unique about that person. Think of 3 to 4  words that would describe that person...

EXAMPLE: Chris- glasses, nice smile, works for LIRR , Golf pro. Well you get the idea ... 

You don't need to take notes on every person you meet with. Take notes on only those you are possibly interested in meeting with again, it will save time. 

SUGGESTIONS for that FIRST DATE following a singles event

Safety first! 

Remember getting to know each other is not a race, take your time.  Agree to meet in a well-lit open public place where there'll be others nearby.
Do not agree for one of you to provide transportation for the other or to be picked up at your home. 
Plan to bring a cell phone and have the number of the person whom you're meeting handy.
Tell someone like a relative or friend about your plans and write down the details of the meeting in a date book or on a calendar.

LINKS for Advice on Dating
Professional Dating Coach  

Looking to navigate the dating world with more success and confidence? 

See what everyone's talking about! 
Heidi and 7 in Heaven offer a FUN, informative, low cost monthly Dating Workshop & Mingle.
Exciting topics and group discussions to learn a fresh new approach to dating
Gain that confidence boost needed to succeed in today's world of dating.
Meet people who share your values at this friendly interactive workshop
Every first timer attending receives a complimentary 30 min. personal coaching session! 

Or call Heidi today and start "transforming your stumbling blocks into stepping stones"   

CLICK HERE for our next Dating Workshop event!

VISIT Heidi's web site     Email: coachheidik@gmail.com       516-313-3185

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